Inner conflict and the lessons we can learn from it


Have you ever felt in a situation or while deciding that “one part” of you wants to do something, but the “other part does not? That two opposing parts inside of you is in conflict? This blog deals with inner conflict and the lessons you can learn from them. Inner conflict is also known as internal conflict, and it deals with a person’s psyche as a whole.


What is inner conflict?

Inner conflict occurs when a person is conflicted between two opposing ideas, demands, impulses or choices. It is an ongoing battle between one’s thoughts and emotions, and it usually arises when you’re faced with making a decision. It generally involves a struggle between doing what you think you “ought” to do and being your true self.

Internal conflict (in psychological terms) is ideas, feelings and thoughts that disagree with one another. It is the settling of indecision usually caused by having more than one impulse for action. For example: “I know I should end my relationship because it’s unhealthy, but I need the financial support. What to do?!” Another great example is: “I deserve that promotion, but I don’t know if I will be good enough”. One part believes in your capabilities, but the other part does not.

Usually, internal conflict creates a feeling of being “stuck” or stagnant. Moreover, it makes you feel like there is no way out or a win in that situation and creates feelings of fear, anger, resentment, or disgust. As a result, people experiencing inner conflict either suppress, deny or withdraw from circumstances that exaggerate the situation or believe it does not exist. There are many types of inner conflict that a person can experience.

8 Types of Inner Conflicts

  1. Religious conflict

An example of religious conflict could be believing in a loving God but finding it hard to accept that this “loving” being sends people to hell for eternity.

  1. Moral conflict

An example of moral conflict could occur when a person believes in human rights but doesn’t believe in euthanasia.

  1. Love conflict

An example of love conflict may occur when we love a person and wish to keep them but realize we must let them go.

  1. Self-perception/ self-image conflict

For example, a person who believes they’re honest might lie on their resume to get their dream job.

  1. Political conflict

For example, a person may believe in the political philosophy but struggle to support the politician propagating it.

  1. Existential conflict

For example, wanting to live life to the fullest but not wanting to make any changes or get out of your comfort zone.

  1. Interpersonal conflict

For example, an introvert doesn’t have much energy but creates a high-energy façade to fit in with others.

  1. Sexual conflict

For example, a person might be a faithful Christian, but they don’t condemn sex before marriage.


5 Lessons you can learn

Inner conflict happens mostly unconsciously, and a person might not be aware of the internal struggle. It is beneficial in the healing process when a person is familiar with their state of mind and being. With that said, here are lessons you can learn from experiencing inner conflict:

  1. Character development: When resolving inner conflict, it builds your character and helps you measure how much you have grown and changed. It also helps with self-improvement if and when it yields good results.
  2. Build your values: Often, our struggle moulds and helps us see what’s more important, both externally and personally. We can re-align our values to find inner peace again.
  3. Self-Healing: Inner conflict can create a space for people to introspect about their lives and heal the areas where they experience conflict.
  4. Goal development: Inner conflicts also help one set goals for themselves as they will be mindful enough to know what is right and wrong and change accordingly.
  5. It teaches assertiveness and decisiveness: Inner conflict gets you caught between 2 ideas or desires. Healing from this breeds more certainty and determination in a person, so much so that they are unmoved in the way they live their lives and with everything that involves their well-being.


Lesson learnt, what’s next?

Although there are great lessons to learn, one must take time to resolve and learn from it. It is a daily commitment to improving and self-reflection on what is causing the inner conflict. When it is not resolved, it may cause a person to live an unfulfilling life and experience various negative emotions. Yes, the battle is with yourself. Here at My Kinda Life, I have a trademark therapy to help you resolve your inner conflict. My services include the following:

  • Inner conflict resolution
  • Negative emotions therapy
  • Self-love and self-esteem enhancement
  • Goal setting
  • Finding your life purpose

Buddhist psychology, the Dalai Lama once said: ” According to Buddhist psychology, most of our troubles stem from attachment to things that we mistakenly see as permanent.” Therefore, I encourage you to take action steps, stop procrastinating or avoiding your internal issues and decide to resolve your inner conflict today. Feel free to view the services I have in place to assist you in creating the life you deserve. You can also read my series of blogs to gather understanding on various matters that relate to inner conflict.

Contact us and find out how I can assist you in becoming the best version of yourself. I will be the most significant investment in your life!

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